Night Walks

When I was young, I sometimes had altered states of consciousness when I got sick. I remember hallucinating vivid sounds when I had fevers from earaches: people talking, voices. I also had sensory hallucinations in my hands- my rounded bedside felt sharp. Most frighteningly, I had a sense that something was going to fall on me. A feeling that something was hovering above me about to snap.

All this gave me a keen sense that perception of the world is dependent on thought. When I had a pain or ache, I learned to move the pain around my body, which would lessen it.

I'm a bit of a dry science type now, and I especially like to study things that escape our consciousness, and shape it, rather those that are evident. But part of me still loves the mystery of consciousness and its own strange, maybe limited, control over the world. I think that Fichte, Hegel, and Nietzsche built their systems on this realm.

Sometimes, when I'm up late at night, and outside, alone, I get a little bit of this state again. I like it.